Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Five Foot Beast

A few weeks ago, we were out in the yard letting the kids play in the water. Steve and I were walking back up to the front porch when he let out a quiet, but serious, "Oh. My. Gosh...." When my eyes found what his were locked onto, my heart did a little backflip.

The Five Foot Beast.

Half of his body was stretched out across the welcome mat (Welcome Home!!) and the rest of him was hanging down into the mulch. Steve made eye contact with him, and he froze.... :-)

He then ordered me to go and get the rake. I ran around the house and came back with the rake, the shovel and a garden hoe. You never know what tool you might need to kill a big daddy snake! Steve hadn't moved and was still in a staring contest with the snake.

First, Steve pinned his head with the rake...

Then he got real mad and started writhing all around and whipping his tail back and forth. (The snake, not Steve.)

So then Steve informed me that apparently I was going to have to HELP in the snake killing.

This was about the time the snake started wrapping his tail around the rake and slowly climbing up towards Steve hand. Creepsville.

I then had to put the camera down and help, so the next steps are not documented with pictures. Be glad. It would be rated at least PG-13 for violence.

I took the hoe, aimed, and then closed me eyes so I didn't see what the hoe did to the snake's neck. And I discovered that it takes a lot of WHACKS to kill a big snake (especially with your eyes closed). At some point, the snake was still moving, but closer to dead, and Steve felt comfortable enough to let up on the pressure to his neck in order to switch places with me.

He finished him off and then we stretched him out and measured him. He was over 60 inches long!!

I am so thankful that Steve's philosophy on wildlife in our yard has changed over the years. Fresh out of California when we first got married, he would *remove* animals from our yard (snakes included) and induct them into his relocation program. There were a few times I violently threatened him with bodily harm if he didn't kill a snake that he had caught near our house, and he would still let them go somewhere. Haven't you heard that old tale that snakes will find their way back to your house???

He also used to like bunnies, but now look what happened to him...

It's a slippery slope out here in the country, folks.


Heather said...

Ha, ha! You tell such great stories, Court. Always love to hear your perspective on things. And that picture you got of Steve is priceless! So...when DID you pick up your camera in all of this mayhem?

Arielle said...

*shivers* snakes give me the heebies!!!! i saw one in our chicken coop once and i ran back into the house and refused to put the chickens away 'cause i was NOT going back in there! i think eric killed it... glad i didn't have to! eek.

Karah said...

Ewwwwwwwww!!! Yeah that would freak me out in a HUGE way!!

blissful_e said...

What a great transformation from Californian to Texas countryside... both of you were so brave, and well done getting rid of your unwelcome visitor!!!!

TxSizeHull said...

Omgosh. First, UGH...UGH!!! Second, totally laughing at the picture of Steve with the word bubble! Third, I love that you grabbed the camera, it gives a richness to the story that would have really been missed! But UGH, EWW...crreepsville is right. I'm rethinking my thoughts about living in the country now...